


This is so sad, Alexa play Pizza Theme

by Tisalovelybug



Category: Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Bi Disaster Mondo, Fluff, M/M, Swearing, a lot of it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-24
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 05:42:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18584935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tisalovelybug/pseuds/Tisalovelybug
Summary: Ishimaru's the cute new delivery boy at the local pizza shop (where Leon and Junko work as well because why not). Mondo is a bi disaster and instead of asking him to hang out like a normal person he's got a master plan, totally foolproof, that's sure to win the hall monitor over! What could possibly go wrong?





	This is so sad, Alexa play Pizza Theme

**Author's Note:**

> OH god so I wrote this sometime last year at 4am when I was really overtired (Hadn't slept in some stupidly long time). 4am brain thought it would be a good idea to write present tense, the one I'm the worst at writing at, so I had to beg friends to look over it and help fix any errors I made. Thanks guys ;w; (Especially HopefulHeir, check out their writing if you somehow haven't seen their stuff already, it's amazing!)
> 
> The more I look at it the more I hate it, but it's the first piece of recreational writing I've finished in literal years and I haven't finished anything since so I figure it's now or never, gotta put something out there for once.
> 
> I always refer to them as Ishimaru and Mondo which is so dumb, like why do I use family name for one and given for the other? BUT my excuse for this fic is it's from Mondo's perspective kinda so yeah totally makes sense and it isn't just me being stupid guys.
> 
> I hope somebody can get at least get some enjoyment outta this aye.

How many times has he tried now? Five, he thinks. No, six if he counts tonight. Wednesdays are usually quiet at the store, so even though it wasn't supposed to arrive for another twenty minutes, he was expecting it any second now. He’s barely spent a few minutes fucking around with his phone when he hears a knock at the door.

Three knocks in quick succession. God fucking damnit.

He groans loudly, grabs some cash, and heads to the door. Un-fucking-believable, there's no goddamn way he got that stupid redhead three fucking nights in a row.

"Hey if it isn't my favourite customer!" Leon has the audacity to wink. "The hell are you ordering so much for lately, man? Get another rejection to add to your loss streak?"

"Fuck off Kuwata," he growls. "How much do I owe ya?"

"2000 yen. 2500 if you wanna help a buddy out"

"I tipped ya this week already, take the 2000 and go."

"Hey, it was worth a shot right?" Another fucking wink. "Anyway I'll see ya 'round man, enjoy your night!" He throws out a peace sign as Mondo closes the door in the smug bastard’s face.

"Like hell I will, fuckin' asshole."

Seven’s meant to be a lucky number, right? Surely he'll get him next time.

\---------------------

This is so stupid, so goddamn stupid. They won't even fucking read it, so it'll be a waste of time and embarrassing and he should fucking forget about it and just order the damn pizza normally like he had the last six times... six fucking times, goddamnit. His wallet was growing seriously thin and he was getting really sick of eating pizza. He should just send this stupid request with his order so he doesn't waste any more of his hard earned cash.

But... shit! He can't do that. They fucking know him, he's a regular, what the hell are they gonna think if he requests for the ultimate nerd to deliver to him? Sure, Mondo’s finally... sort of... almost come to terms with being head over heels for his dorky kyoudai, but he sure as hell wasn't ready for anyone else to know that! And the people at the store will fucking realise, especially if his stupid plan works out and said nerd ended up staying at Mondo's instead of going back to wherever the fuck the shop was.

Damnit... he’s only this desperate to spend time with the guy anyway because Ishimaru’s been refusing all his requests to hang out lately! He's so busy working and fucking studying for some stupid tests! So what if they're the most important ones of the year? Okay, no, maybe that was a little unfair... he knows how important all this school shit is to Ishimaru... which reminds him, he really should get on top of that studying so he doesn't disappoint his ~~crush~~ bro by failing his exams or some shit…But studying was so BORING without Ishimaru; he really helped Mondo understand all the bullshit that he just couldn't get on his own, damnit! 

He takes a moment to glance at the wall clock and curses under his breath. Ishimaru will be finishing in about forty-five minutes. It may be a Friday, but things tended to get quiet in the later hours of the store. If he ordered right fucking now he might have a chance.

Fuck it! He clicks that order now button SO hard, chooses the cash payment option on the next page, and takes a moment to sit back and relax.

Until he fucking realises he didn't DELETE HIS STUPID FUCKING REQUEST FOR ISHIMARU SPECIFICALLY TO DELIVER TO HIM. SHIT! FUCKING SHIT FUCK!

This is so fucking bad. He can't call and tell them to ignore the request because it's too fucking late, they'll already know he fucking made it and then it'll just be really fucking embarrassing and he'll never be able to call the place again. If he's lucky they won't read it at all and no one will ever have to know he fucked up this badly.

But another thought occurs to him: what if Enoshima is working there tonight? She'd definitely read it the moment she saw Mondo's name on the thing, shit. SHIT. He's so fucked right now, the whole goddamn country is going to know about his stupid gay crush by the morning. Why is he such an IDIOT?

He quickly learns that being both stressed and angry as hell is a tiring combo. He manages to fall into a restless sleep on the couch, only waking when he hears 4 strong, deliberate knocks on his door.

Wait, isn't that how Ishimaru knocks?

He's up in an instant, almost tripping over in his rush to the door and he yanks the thing open so hard he swears he can feel it coming off its hinges a bit. (Shit, he’ll have to check that out later.)

"Hey, kyoudai!" He wheezes, trying to catch his breath, "Shit, hah, I didn't expect ta have my pizza delivered by you!" He tries to look casual as he leans against the doorframe.

"Good evening Kyoudai! Are you using sarcasm right now? I'm sure I read on the document that you specifically asked for me to be the one to deliver to you." He looks up at Mondo quizzically with those goddamn gorgeous red eyes and Mondo thinks his heart might fucking stop right there.

"Uh... yeah! Haha, you're getting really good at picking that shit up aren't ya?" At least Ishimaru is kind enough to give him a goddamn excuse for his fuck up, because he sure as hell won’t think of one himself while his brain is busy short-circuiting.

"Hahaha, you think so?" He looks so fucking proud of himself. "I'm glad my 'social studying' is finally paying off! Ah, I should give you your pizza. It will cost you 2000 yen!" His expression turns sheepish and he adds, "I must admit, it feels quite odd to ask you for any sort of payment kyoudai."

"Eh? Don't be stupid kyoudai, it's your job ain't it? Surely ya'd be used to it by now."

"Ah, well, with other customers yes... but I owe you so much, it doesn't feel right accepting it from you!" He always says shit like that, like he fucking owes people something just for spending time with him. How the fuck doesn't he realise he's the best damn thing to ever happen to Mondo in his shitty life so far?

"Ya don't owe me anything, a'ight? Here, and keep the change yeah?" He hands him 3000 yen.

"Ngh! I can't accept this kyoudai! I-"

"Oi, just shut up and take it, you fuckn' deserve it for working your ass off all the time." He practically forces the cash into Ishimaru's stupid looking belt bag. Now that he wasn't holding the cash, he shoves his hands into his pockets, hoping to look like much less of an idiot than he currently feels.

"K-kyoudai..." tears were forming in his eyes, he’s always so emotional over the smallest things, Mondo wants nothing more than to hug this dork for the rest of the fucking night.

Shit, that reminded him... was he really gonna go through with this? Yeah, fuck yeah he was! With Ishimaru being so busy lately, this might be the only damn opportunity he'll get.

"So, kyoudai, do you have any more deliveries after this?" Ishimaru blinks up at him through his tears.

"N-no, I believe I don't." He wipes his eyes on his shirt sleeve, "Why do you ask kyoudai?"

"Well uh, I was thinkin'... maybe you wanna come in for a bit? Ya don’t have to stay for long or nothin' just uh, a medium pizza is a bit too much for one man to get through on his own don't ya think?" He's trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal, inviting his really attractive best friend into his house for the night... oh who is he kidding, it's a HUGE deal!

"Ah, sorry kyoudai! I do appreciate the offer, but I'm afraid I must refuse." ...What? Did he just say what Mondo thought he did?

"Whaddya mean? Why not?" He stopped leaning against the door frame and stood straight (or, as straight as he could be while still slouching).

"Just because this is my last delivery does not mean there is no more work to do! The boss will need help cleaning, preparing food for tomorrow, finishing off dishes-"

"Are ya fuckn' serious? Can't somebody else do that shit?!" He was raising his voice, damnit! His brilliant (well, in hindsight, kind of stupid) plan had failed and now he was panicking like a goddamn loser because the love of his life was rejecting him! Love of his life, did he really just fucking think that?! How fucking lame can he be?!

"It would be completely irresponsible of me to leave all the work to my fellow employees!"

"FUCK the other workers! They can fuckn' handle it for one night!" Shit, why the fuck was he yelling?! Ishimaru was completely fucking right, why the hell is he arguing on this? He needs to STOP ARGUING ON THIS!

"Kyoudai... please don't disrespect my colleagues like that!" Shit, FUCK. There are tears in his eyes again and there's no fucking way they're the good kind, "You wouldn't like it if I were to say something similar about someone in your gang, would you?"

He was right, Mondo knew he was fucking right. He should apologise for being a goddamn IDIOT.

"Y-yeah, you're right. My bad kyoudai, I fucked up." Half of him was about to yell again before that sentence came out, thank fuck he didn't. Ah shit, he hates when he's the reason Ishimaru's upset…

"It's fine kyoudai…” he quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his sleeve, “Well, I really have spent much too long here! Not only will your food be getting cold, but I'll be leaving the others on clean-up duty without me! I should head off." He hands the pizza over to Mondo, and even though Mondo’s plan was stupid and not well thought out at all he was still really disappointed that it didn't work.

"Ah, by the way, the store closes in..." Ishimaru takes a moment to glance at his wristwatch, "Twenty minutes. Whilst it would have been highly inappropriate of me to take you up on the offer of coming inside during work hours, if you just so happen to be outside the store when I'm about to leave... well, I'm sure my father wouldn't mind me staying at a friend's place for one night!"

He's fucking beaming and staring up at Mondo, who's just gaping like a goddamn moron. What the fuck? What the actual fuck did he just say?

"Uh... so, um... meet ya at the store in twenty minutes... is what yer saying?" He's still trying to process this turn of events.

"Yes! If you would like to, that is. Unfortunately I didn't bring any of my school supplies with me to work, so I guess we'll have to spend the night doing something other than studying."

Ishimaru's staring at Mondo as if he's waiting to see if he's said the right thing and will get the right response but... shit, how the fuck is he meant to respond to any of this?! There are too many possible implications behind the shit he's saying and it's totally fucking with Mondo's head! He opens his mouth to say something, but then closes it. The only thing going though his mind right now is 'what the fuck' on loop, and saying that out loud would not help in actually getting Ishimaru to hang out with him tonight... which is actually fucking happening right now? Holy shit.

"Kyoudai?" He's waving his hand in front of Mondo’s face, "Sorry to interrupt your thoughts, but I really must be going now. I... I hope to see you later!" Is he fucking blushing? He's fucking blushing. What the fuck does that mean?! Before he can even begin down that train of thought, Ishimaru is turning and walking away.

"Uh... YEAH! FUCK YEAH I'LL SEE YOU LATER!" God, shit, that was so lame, sounded so fucking desperate. Despite this, Ishimaru turns his head, blushing again, and he has one of the biggest smile's Mondo's ever seen on his face.

"I'm really looking forward to it, Mondo!"

At the sound of his first name, he has to fucking pinch himself. There's no way any ANY of that just happened, but all he gets from the pinch is a bit of pain and watering eyes that make it harder to see Ishimaru riding off on that lame ass scooter back to the store.

Mondo is allowed a good few seconds of peace, just staring out at the road Ishimaru had disappeared down, before another wave of panic comes over him.

Shit, SHIT! He was nervous enough before about asking the guy if he would stay for a few HOURS, how the actual FUCK was he going to survive the whole damn NIGHT?!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for making it through this disaster of a fic, I appreciate that you wasted precious minutes of your life on this mess.
> 
> If it made a single person smile or laugh then its worth sharing it and putting myself out there in the end I think, even though people might recognise me from other places and judge me for it uhhhhhhhhh
> 
> And yeah, I did listen to Pizza Theme on loop for a good hour or so while writing this.
> 
> I think the whole idea came to because of the number of fics I've read where characters will abandon their job so they can hang out with their babe and, being a delivery driver, I was like BRO you can't just ditch! You know, maybe there are some places where after final deliveries you can just go home, but mine sure isn't one of them. So yeah, pretty sure that's why this is a thing that I wrote. Anyway uh, enough rambling from me.
> 
> Thanks for reading! <3


End file.
